the trauma behind the better place

they say he went to a better place

but when the dad you love most 

dies in his first daughter's arms 

you wonder if there was truly a better place.

he graced me with life

he held me as soon as soon 

as i entered the world.

    and i held him as he left.

those fleeting childhood moments 

as smashed kaleidoscope daydreams 

fits of what used to be 

and moments of what will never be.

grabbing on his dress pant leg,

dancing in his shoes,

dazed and dreaming forever 

lost forever in his favorite tune.